Manic Monday Made Up 4/1/13…
An item that crosses “…And the World” & “The Feds”!
President Barack Obama came before reporters today in the White House to make a startling announcement. “All the rumors have been and always were true. I am actually Kenyan!”
The story ricocheted quickly across the Internet as self-satisfied right-wingers popped champagne and laughed maniacally across America. The president said that all these years he had been living a lie about his citizenship. While he did grow up in Hawaii, he said that his mother was part of a small, but dedicated coup that wanted to undermine America by putting in a false president.
“She was in her eighth month with me and got this idea along with a few others at U-Hawaii that they could topple the government with a Manchurian, or I guess Mombasa candidate,” he said wiping tears away from his eyes.
Under US law, Obama could have asserted natural born citizenship through his mother, but said he did not because that would undermine the conspiracy. “It just makes too much sense. A logical break in this wild-eyed hysterical lunacy? Please,” he said to a press corp that stood agape.
Speaker John Boehner was also shocked as he spoke at a hastily arranged press conference, “My trust in this president is shaken,” he said bawling.
On the Internets, right-wing bloggers were celebrating not only because they had finally been vindicated, but also because all of Obama’s presidency will now fall away as invalid. “We are free of tyrannical legislation like Obamacare and Dodd-Frank! Yipppeee!” one ebullient winger wrote.
However, one Constitutional law professor said not so. Instead, Vice-President Joe Biden has been President all along. The office was not vacant and while Obama’s signature on legislation may be invalid, the laws themselves still are. “Normally if a bill from Congress does not get signed it becomes law within ten days. In other words, every law Obama signed is still law because Biden, who was president did not veto it instead.”
After the law professor’s comments circulated, Fox News began running a segment, “Is Scranton, Pennsylvania really in America?”